Sara, Anna and me on the pier in St. Pete~May 2005
Me, Anna, and Sara 4/1/06
Everywhere I look I am reminded of Anna. Whether it's a drink she liked, an ice cream we often got, a place we went, a color she loved, a gift she gave, or in my children's faces whom she loves....
2/2009 at Disney World (Tigger, Mikayla, Pooh, Brianna and Aunt Anna)
Brianna on the teacup ride with Aunt Anna and Uncle Shawn
I looked through scrapbooks this morning. SO many memories. Anna was amazing at being a best friend. The fun we had, and the memories I treasure are going to always be kept so close to my heart.
Love-11/2009
I don't know how to go out in the world now that Anna's not a part of it. It's so weird to see other people living and laughing. I want to scream out at them that this is not a time to be happy, that I'm grieving and everyone else should too. Nelson brought the girls to school today--I haven't done that since last Monday before life as I know it changed. I'm going to try and get it together for my girls' sake and take them to school tomorrow and be the Mom they need me to be. My mom told me while I was away this weekend in North Carolina that Mikayla prayed that I would come home happy. I didn't, but in time I will be. I will absolutely never stop loving Anna or thinking about her, but unfortunately life has to go on. As unfathomable as that is...we have to get to a place where we can be happy and we can think of Anna and smile and not cry.
Aunt Anna and Brianna-2007 at the FL aquarium
A trip to the beach was always on the agenda when Anna visited...October 2008
Anna was here for the girls' 3rd birthday-October 2008, She helped me bake a Winnie the Pooh birthday cake for Brianna who loves Pooh just like Aunt Anna
Anna's love for Jesus has really helped me. Everyone should love Jesus the way Anna does. I would call her up and tell her how I was upset about something and the first thing she'd tell me was that she'd pray about it. During the services I talked to people who Anna had asked to pray for me. I talked to people who felt like they knew me through Anna. I very much felt like her family this weekend, and that made my heart smile...for Anna is my family.
Anna and I at the baby shower she threw for Joshua~so perfect. She also got to go to an ultrasound with us and see Joshua~August 2009
Nelson, Joshua, Me, Anna and Shawn 2/2010
Shawn was wonderful, and gave me Anna's vanity that her Mom painted for her as a child. When the girls visited Anna over the summer the girls sat at it and asked Anna what she did at the table. She told them she kept her make up in the drawer and she'd get ready there. The girls asked her if they could have make up in the drawer like her, and she told them she would make sure it had make-up next time we visited. When we were there in February, the girls remembered. They ran up to the vanity, opened the drawer and there were 4 different kinds of Hello Kitty lip glosses. Aunt Anna told them they could keep them too and take them home! The girls were thrilled! So, when Shawn and Nan had me bring home this vanity for my girls, especially Brianna to have~it was such a gift. This morning when the kids woke us~I told them there was a surprise. I showed them the vanity and told them we were going to put it in their room, and every time they looked at it and got ready they would think of Aunt Anna. They are so excited, and already put out the hello kitty lip glosses and other fun stuff to put in the drawer when we put it in their room today. I sat at this vanity in high school when Anna did my hair and make up for homecoming. Many mornings after sleepovers we would get ready in front of that mirror. So very blessed to have something so very special to my best friend.
They had such a beautiful bond, and I absolutely loved watching their love. I know that their love continues...just wish my girl could hug her Aunt Anna with me...someday...
2/2010 Brianna and Aunt Anna
I am scared about how I feel. I am feeling so overwhelmed with sadness, and I can't picture being ok. I'm praying that I feel Anna and know her true desire would be for me to know she is happy with the Lord. It's so hard because it all just isn't fair. She should be here with all of us. My brain knows all this and knows that my kids need me and all that...but my heart...my heart just aches.
Aunt Anna and my boy-2/2011
Anna, Brianna and Shawn 2/2011
Nan shared feeling comfort last night, and when I saw the sunset the night of her funeral and the pink in the sky after a rainy gloomy day I pictured Anna painting the sky her favorite color to show us her joy in Heaven. I keep thinking of happy memories, or her happiness in Heaven...and then the sadness creeps in and I can't stop my tears or pain. I will never stop thinking about my Anna Banana, but I pray for the point when it doesn't hurt so much.
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