Merry Christmas!

It's been too long since I've updated...

We've had a wonderful holiday season. We have had fun with friends, Joshua got Baptised, our family had a great Christmas...we just feel so tremendously blessed as 2009 is ending. This year sure has flown by...but more on that later :).

Updates on everyone:

Nelson and Tiffany~Nelson is still working hard at trying to get mortgages to close in this crazy/still not great economy. We are blessed that his Mom works hard with him to try and make First Bay Mortgage stay afloat. We pray that next year looks better in terms of their business. I am luckily still able to stay home, and be a full-time Mom. This is quite a job, and anyone who tries it for a day would agree ;). It took me a good couple of weeks to adjust to being a Mom of 3, but I think I have it down now :).

Mikayla~Oh my sweet beautiful girly girl. She loves dancing, creating, art, dolls, being a princess, but the poor girl would trip over a feather. Not the most graceful little girl...but, she just gets up and brushes it off :). Mikayla also has amazing manners. She asks to be excused from the table after every meal, and always remembers her pleases and thank you's :). Such a lovely little lady she is. She will be the one to notice if you have a new hairdo, top, or make-up shade, literally, nothing gets past her, and she'll compliment you on it :).

Brianna~Has been affected by the new baby the most. She tries to jump on my lap whenever possible or act out for attention often. She has a very sensitive soul, and takes everything in. She gets her feelings hurt easily, but also loves incredibly deeply. Nelson would say this is a lot like me. Brianna loves dancing, and has rhythm (still trying to figure out where she gets that ;) ). Brianna can convince Mikayla to do anything, and is definitely the leader out of the two, but more shy with other kids.

Joshua~Is "talking", smiling, loves being held, adores his sisters, finally likes car rides, and is just a complete joy.

Here are some pictures...

Jesus is the reason for the season...

I love the conversations I have with my girls...here's one that I wanted to share. I picked them up from school today, and...

Me: Girls what did you learn today?
Brianna: Christmas is special because of Jesus
Mikayla: Not because of Santa or presents
Me: That's right, it's when we celebrate Jesus' birthday...remember how we make Jesus a b-day cake on Christmas?
Mikayla: Mommy, we shouldn't do that He can't have any of it.
Me: I know, but He's looking down on us, and He'd like to see us celebrate his b-day with some cake I bet :)
Brianna: How old is Jesus?
Me: Umm, well, He doesn't get older in Heaven.
Brianna: I'm going to make up an age for him...he's 17!

They are so funny. Their Christmas program is next week. I'm excited to see them with their classmates singing songs....I love this time of year!!

Likes/Dislikes

My boy is 8 weeks old, which is crazy. I held a week old baby today, and couldn't believe how huge/heavy Joshua is compared to the sweet baby girl I held today. I got in the car after my short visit and literally started crying. I'm not ready for my baby to get bigger. I want to keep him this snuggling sweet newborn forever. He's already in some 3-6 month clothes, and in size 2 diapers. He's a couple days shy of 2 months...craziness.

He is developing a little personality, and I absolutely love everything about him. Some of the things he likes right now are:
ceiling fans ;)
the baby swing
pacifier
his family
the stroller (falls asleep instantly in there :) )
mirrors

He dislikes:
loud sounds, he's still getting startled pretty easily (seems to be used to his sisters loud voices though :) )
stop and go traffic when he's in the car
being put down when he's awake ;)

I absolutely love being his Mom. The girls are so very in love with him too. I've started to not freak out as much by their contact with him. If I give them little jobs to do with him they LOVE it. We've been giving all 3 kids a bath together, and the girls love washing the baby's back, or getting out and getting his towel. It's really so sweet. He's still a night owl, I'm hoping he's like the girls and by 3 months is sleeping through the night.

We have a busy, exciting weekend coming up. Friday, Nelson and I have a date night; Saturday, the girls are painting pottery with Santa in Tampa; and Sunday we have a birthday party to go to...so I'm sure there will be lots of pictures to come :)

Holidays!

We had a great Thanksgiving! Everyone was fighting over Joshua time on his 1st Thanksgiving. One of the perks of having twins was that I didn't have to make Grandmother's upset to hold my own baby ;). It was really nice having my siblings all home. Joey came over and took amazing pictures for us. Would it be weird to have every inch of wall space covered in photos ;)?

I also started holiday shopping, and we decorated our house. I LOVE this time of year. The girls are at such an awesome age for it all too. I'm trying to soak in all of Joshua's firsts...can't believe he's our last baby. He's getting way too big, way too fast.

Thankful

Thanksgiving is almost here, and I am thankful for so many things.

I'm thankful for my family. My husband and kids are such amazing blessings. I'm so thankful God blessed me with Joshua this year. He's such a sweet and wonderful baby. I'm also so thankful for my beautiful girls (who already at 4 know how to push my buttons...yet, always leave me smiling). I'm thankful Nelson is such a great role model for our children. I love his heart and how I can always count on him.

I'm so thankful for my relationship with God, and SO proud that my girls love God so much. I'm excited to see Joshua form a relationship with God that I've seen the girls do throughout the past four years.

I'm thankful for my parents and siblings. Without them we'd never have a babysitter, lol. Seriously though, I treasure my relationships with my siblings...and am so grateful for the love my parents show us.

I'm thankful for my mother-in-law who even in this terrible market is trying to keep their office afloat with Nelson. Without her there is no way we'd be where we are now.

I'm thankful for my unbelievable friends. Friends are the family we get to choose...and I've been so blessed to have amazing friends. I'm thankful that my friends Sara and Alison welcomed their first little ones into the world this year and that my other friend Alison is going to be welcoming her son either at the end of Dec. or early January.

I'm thankful for my Godchildren. Our friends Theresa and Andy asked us to be their girls' Godparents, and our other friend's Jen and Carl asked us to be their youngest daughter's Godparents. It is such an honor, and I pray every day for them, and that I can show them God's love.

I'm thankful for the ability to stay home with my kids. I hope it's something M, B and J appreciate when they are older...because this time with them really means the world to me. I'm so thankful Nelson works hard to make sure this dream of mine was able to come true.

I'm thankful for my kids' school where I know they are safe and having fun, and learning so much.

I'm thankful for our home and the life that we have.

Can't wait to see all the blessings I'm going to have to be thankful for next Thanksgiving!!!

6 week post op appt.

Had my 6 week post op appt. SO strange that this time last year I was going to the OB weekly for blood draws to make sure my hcg wasn't rising showing that the pmp had led to cancer...and now I'm done going to the OB. I brought Joshua along and everyone oohed and ahhed over him. It feels like the past year has been such a rollercoaster, and now my perfect baby is here and it's just the best feeling.

We've had some feeding issues here in our zoo...ugh. We offered Joshua a bottle for the first time Friday so I could have a break...well, he loved it. Bottles are so much easier, so he prefered it. Then, he didn't want to nurse afterwards. I called the lactation consultant and she said sometimes when babies are offered a bottle they don't want to go back. She offered some pointers and we are just now, 4 days later, getting back on track. I am hoping we can re-introduce a bottle soon because it's hard being the only one who can feed Joshua when I also have 2 other kids to take care of. I am also so sleep deprived...and I'm not the type of person who does well without sleep.

I was worried about losing my supply and if Joshua was doing well since he hasn't been eating great since Friday. Well, we pulled out a scale my parents had gotten us when the girls were babes. I put Joshua on it and thought for sure it was broken. Nelson went and got out an 8 lb. weight and put it on the scale...the scale was NOT broken. So, I again put Joshua on the scale. It said he was almost 12 lbs!!!!!!!!! A week ago he was 10 lbs. Guess he's gaining, lol. So, I'm trying to not worry to much about feedings right now ;).

1 month appt.

Joshua had his one month appt. today! He weighs 10 lbs. and is 22.5 inches long. I talked to the Dr. about starting a bottle a day of formula so I can get a break (everything says 4-6 weeks is the time to introduce a bottle if you are going to)...so we'll try that soon. Joshua has a little bit of jaundice in his eyes, but his Dr. said it's normal for breastfed babies. Other than that he's just perfect :). I put him on his playmat yesterday and he was swatting at the toys and mesmerised by the music coming from the playmat :). He still is enjoying being awake a lot at night...so Mommy is still in a fog...but, this too shall pass.



The girls absolutely adore him. Though, about a week ago, Brianna said, "Mommy I miss when you just had two kids". LOL...I think it's because we are always so on the go and we've been homebound a lot with the baby, and that particular day she wanted to go somewhere and we couldn't. Mikayla gets offended easily by the baby. If he doesn't turn his head toward her, or makes a grunting sound at Brianna and not at her she instantly says her brother doesn't like her. I keep telling her that he's a baby and doesn't know she wants him to look at her and can't control his sounds. It's funny to see how they are responding to Joshua. They are needing lots of extra love, and attention. I feel like I'm getting the hang of being a Mom of 3 now, the first couple weeks were really overwhelming.

Alison's shower

One of my best friends, who has been my friend since 5th grade, had her baby shower this past weekend! It was so awesome celebrating Alison's baby, Colton. I can not wait to meet him!! Joshua is my little side kick since he is nursing around the clock, and so he joined in the festivities :). Can't wait for Joshua and Colton to meet in January :).

First Outing!

I brought all 3 kiddos out by myself yesterday. We went to story time at Barnes and Noble. I also met my good friend, Theresa, and her 3 kids so that was nice. It's always good to go with someone and you can help each other keep eyes out for everyone :). Theresa and I joke that we just need an open space and our girls would be happy. We don't need to pay to go somewhere or try to plan an activity. They can literally have fun with each other anywhere. It's so fun to see them together. Joshua slept the whole time which is what I was hoping...YAY! He's such a good baby. As soon as we pulled into our driveway he woke up hungry...perfect timing!

On a serious note, I feel like my prayer list is getting longer and longer. One of my best friends, Anna, isn't feeling well and could use lots of prayers.

My good friend's mom was also diagnosed with lung cancer and could use lots of prayers.

My Mom has started a new blood pressure medication after going to the hospital last week for her heart....this is something that terrifies me since she's already on a page full of medications. Hoping she can get healthy and can get off a bunch of the medications....please keep her in your prayers.

I thank God every day that I have a healthy husband and children...make sure to squeeze your loved ones a little tighter...such a gift from God.

Photo by Joseph La Belle :)

My brother took this picture of me when I was pregnant, and then put the image of me and Joshua (5 days old) into the mirror. I LOVE it!!!

Halloween!

Mikayla, Brianna and Joshua had a great Halloween. It was very exciting to have Joshua celebrate his first holiday :). He was a little pumpkin, but only wore his costume inside...because it was almost 90 degrees outside! The girls were beautiful ballerinas. They were their costumes from their recital (I paid $50/a piece for them and they wore them once so I figured they'd make a great Halloween costume ;) ). They were super excited because I let them wear make-up :). They are such girly girls!

A year...

It's been a year since we lost our pmp (partial molar pregnancy) baby. I can't believe it's been a year. In some ways I still feel that intense pain of not seeing the heartbeat during the u/s and hearing those awful words, and then the fear and ache of the D&C. Tomorrow (10/29) is a year since the d&c...we are going to go to church and light a candle for our baby.

Thank God I have Joshua. I don't know how I would be able to get through this day without him. I hate how much my girls have grown up this past year because of our family's loss. I look back at a year ago when they learned so much about death and heart break, and I feel so sad that they had to endure something that even adults have a hard time understanding. I'm so glad they now are big sisters and get to feel that joy that they should have felt in May.

Going green, and saving some green ;)

Ok, in the fog of the past two weeks I've decided by the time I order birth announcements, address/stamp/mail them it'll be time to send Christmas cards ;). With the girls I was so good about sending birth announcements so I feel kind of bad about this....BUT, with today's technology, and even my Grandparents using the world wide web I am going to do a birth announcement here with pictures/stats and then e-mail the link. Very green of us I think ;)

Joshua Nelson Perez
10/6/09 9:06 AM
7lbs. 13 oz.
20 inches

Joshua's first picture :)/ Dr. J who got us through the past year

Our family of 5!/ Mommy's boy :)

Daddy's boy/ Mikayla, Joshua and Brianna

Weight gain :)

Joshua weighed 7 lbs. 13 oz. at birth, then last Friday (the day after we left the hospital) he weighed 7lbs. 6 oz. at the pediatricians. We went back today (he's 10 days old), and he weighs 7 lbs. 15 oz.! The nurse congratulated both Joshua and me :). I'm so glad he's gaining well exclusively breastfeeding. Usually babies don't get to their birth weight until they are 2 weeks old. So proud of my chunky monkey...even if it means he's attached to me all the time ;).

Birth Story!

On Tuesday, October 6th, Nelson and I kissed the girls and left them at our house with my parents and sister and headed to the hospital. We got there at 5:45 am. They brought me to a room and I changed into a hospital gown and signed some paperwork, and they put heart monitors on my belly. Joshua's heartrate was perfect. The anestesiologist came in and talked to me about what we'd do once we got to the OR. We were suppossed to get in there at 7:30 to start my spinal and then at 7:45 start the surgery. Well, we got bumped. There was a baby in distress, and thank God, my baby wasn't....so we were pushed back an hour. There are 2 OR, but they always leave one open for emergencies.

So, at 8:30 I got wheeled on back, and everything got started. I started to lose the calm feeling I had had all morning and got a little nervous about everything. Thank goodness the spinal took well (one of my fears after hearing a friend's recent c-section story). Then, around 8:45 my Dr. came in and started. Nelson got great pictures of him pulling Joshua out. Joshua was head down so Nelson saw his head first, with the girls he saw their feet first ;).

Then, I heard these little squeeks and then a full on cry :). I coudn't see him yet, and kept hearing wow, so much hair! Then, the anestesiologist said, and in case you were wondering he's still a boy ;). The nurses whisked him to the crib and started cleaning him and there was a student nurse there so it felt like it took forever for her to explain everything and for me to see my boy. He scored an 8 and then a 9 on his apgars, and I asked why not a 10, and they told me babies never get a 10...they have to be able to come out singing songs in order to get a 10 ;). Then, they brought him to me and it was so different than with the girls...I actually got to kiss him and touch him and take pictures with him. With the girls they rushed them to the NICU and I just got a quick look at them. Then, they finished me up and I went to our room and there they were...in our room!!! Everything went EXACTLY how I had hoped. I tried nursing Joshua...and that didn't last too long. He was so sleepy and I figured I'd try again later. I just wanted to stare at him and love on him anyway. We called down to my mom who was more than ready to run up and my parents came up with the girls and it was so wonderful. Brianna said,"Mommy I've been waiting all my life for Joshua" Then, Mikayla told me she felt so blessed. Nothing is better than that. We had been through so much, and here was our perfect moment.

We got discharged on Thursday...and have been getting used to being a family of five ever since :). Joshua is nursing and doing well...still working on getting him to latch better, but we haven't had to break out any bottles He's such a good baby. He's sleeping from 2-3 hour blocks at night which is a big improvement from when we were at the hospital :). He got circumcised and it is healing well. Brianna is having a hard time no longer being the baby (even though my girls are only a minute apart she has always been the baby and glued to Mommy)...so we're working on it. I am trying to give her a lot of one on one time. Both of them are so in love with Joshua.

Girl?!?!

LOL-Had a VERY vivid dream that my Dr. was pulling the baby out..and said, "Weren't we expecting a boy?" Nelson looked, and goes, Oh WOW....Then, Dr. announced we had a girl. I heard the baby cry, and was full of joy and relief that our baby was here, then shock that for 20 weeks we had expected a son. We said...Ok, well, it's Alexa! Then, Nelson and I while I was still in surgery were trying to figure out a middle name, lol. It was between Faith and Hope. I woke up and really was concerned that the 3 ultrasounds that showed us boy might be wrong. Ha!

I'm sure they were correct and Joshua will join us in 3 short days, just a really crazy, detailed dream :)

Stranger comments

Every where I go lately people stare at me. They make comments like "any day now" "wow you look ready" "another set of twins?" UGH!

Well, yesterday I got the worst stranger comment! I'm at Target, and this lady says, "I think you should know that baby is really down there" SERIOUSLY?!?! I said, well, 5 more days. She said, "probably before". I said, well, had a dr. appt. yesterday, and they think I'll make it until Tuesdasy. (I shouldn't have fed her urge to continue the conversation by throwing back rebuttals). She then, sees I'm holding Mikayla's hand and said oh what are you having this time? I said a boy...she says, "perfect, one of each". I HATE that. I said, "actually I have 2 daughters-then she sees Brianna with Nelson. My family would be perfect if we had 5 girls, or 3 boys, or whatever...people always assume I needed to have a girl and a boy to complete us. UGH. Ok-end rant ;). FOUR more days!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last OB appt. EVER!

Went in today...great appt. HB was found immediately (after the nurse from last week peeked her head in and said she wouldn't be coming in-that Theresa would be in shortly ;) ). Dr. answered my many questions. Said baby was measuring right on. I asked if he could estimate how big Joshua would be at birth and he said he thinks about 7.5 lbs. So we'll see on Tuesday!!! He also told me he'd pass my chart off to another Dr. since he's leaving on vacation after he delivers Joshua, and it's NOT the Dr. in the practice I don't like...YAY!!! I didn't want the mean Dr. to circumcise my poor son ;). AUGH...can't believe we are SO close to meeting my boy!!!!

Almost time...

Ok, with only 10 days left it's time to get everything DONE! I had some very REAL contractions yesterday. So weird. I experienced this with the girls once, 4 days before they were born. As much as I want Joshua here I hope he cooks until the 6th :).

Still left to do:

pack my bag (Joshua's stuff is packed and ready), most of my stuff I still am wearing/using that I plan on bringing so that'll probably have to be done right before. I'm keeping up with laundry though in case he decides he wants to pick his own birthday like the girls did ;).

Organize! My room and other rooms have been neglected while trying to keep the main part of the house clean and ready for the baby...gotta get on that.

Scrapbook-wanted to be up-to-date by the time Joshua arrives, but I don't see that happening. I did May-November of '08, and now I'm scrapbooked out for awhile. Hopefully I can start back on it tomorrow and get a lot done.

Pack the girls' stuff for their Grandparents. Again, something that I'll have to mostly do right before they go because they still wear the shorts and use the toiletries and all that now that I'll need to pack them.

Tuesday our carpets are getting cleaned, Friday my mom is sending her cleaning girls over to dust and do the stuff I have no energy for-best gift ever, thanks Mom!! I want to go out with just Nelson one night before he comes since we likely won't be doing that for awhile.

I have to order the girls' birthday cake and treats for school.

Here is a picture of the girls with me outside of the hospital. They went to a Big Sister class...so fun!

37 week emotional appt.

Today's appt. was EMOTIONAL. The nurse comes in takes my BP, everything is fine, then goes to find the heartbeat. She seriously was trying for 5 minutes. She asked me if I felt movement...Um, YES. I told her she was making me really worry though. Then, I start crying. She said, let me go get the other doppler. I heard her whispering outside my door, and in walks, Theresa, my favorite nurse. She puts the doppler on my belly and immediately I hear Joshua. UGH. THANK GOD. I was sobbing. Theresa calmed me down, and told me it was nice and steady. Then, out goes Theresa and in comes the other nurse who has blood shot eyes and has been crying. She apologises profusely and gives me 3 hugs, and I start crying again. Then, in walks my Dr. who said that we've been through enough to have to go through that and he's sorry too. I just want Joshua here. I hate being pregnant and being scared ALL the time. Thank God Joshua moves all the time. I think now I'll probably be calling the office daily if he hasn't moved for an hour! They all know me at this office since I've been going for over a year now every couple weeks...and even the lady who schedules appt's told us she was so sorry we had to go through that scare...man word traveled fast! My next and LAST appt. is next Wed. Then, the following Tuesday I get to meet my boy :). Praying non stop that my son is healthy. I emotionally can't take anything else.

36 week appt.

Ugh. Positive Group B Strep Test....just another thing to worry about. Dr. said it's fine they'll give me antibiotics during delivery. Then, I go home and google (really don't every do that). I wish I could take my own advice. I of course googled! So many horror stories pop up. My best friend, who I rely on during all my medical crisis', told me that since they know and can treat it at delivery it'll be fine. I pray that this doesn't affect Joshua at all. I can't stand the thought of him not being perfectly healthy.

I also asked the dr. about the pressure I'm feeling. Seriously today when I stood up I didn't know if I'd be able to walk it was so painful. Dr. checked and my cervix is thinning, but not dialated, and he said it looks like it should look at this stage. Head is just pressing hard down there. Joshua kicked the nurse when she was trying to get heart tones. It was so funny he was moving all over. She said he was the most active babe she's seen in awhile :). I love him so much...19 days!!!!

Getting SO close

I feel like Joshua has dropped. I only have 3 shirts that cover my belly...last week I didn't have this issue. Also, lots of back pain (my contactions were all in my back with my girls). I've had a few contractions here or there. Lots of swelling when I walk around or go out in the heat. Trying to take it easy so that we make it to Oct. 6th. I'm anxious for my Dr. appt. on Thursday to talk to my Dr. about all these symptoms that have started this week. Oh, and the pressure when I stand up! Oh my! I'm SO ready to meet my son, but I NEED him to be full term and healthy and able to room in with me and go home with me. 3 weeks from today!

Dr. appt. 35 weeks

Well, I am officially the most pregnant I've ever been :). I had a Dr's appt. today. Baby is still head down :), and Dr. doesn't think he's moving...yay! She said it doesn't matter since we are having a c/s, but the girls needed hip ultrasounds for being breech, and I've read about some issues babes have if they are breech, so this makes me happy :).

Had a Group B Strep done today (never had that with the girls since I didn't make it to 35 weeks). Also, got labor instructions today, which I never got with the girls. This all is so new to me, and it's my 3rd child, so strange.

We got Joshua's carseat set up :) :). It feels so real...tick tock tick tock...

Hospital Tour

We took the girls on a hospital tour Sunday. My friend told me it might help them when they come to meet Joshua, in case coming to the hospital is overwhelming for them. Well, we're on the tour, and the whole time Mikayla kept asking me when we were going to go on the hospital tour. I kept whispering we are on the tour (trying to keep her quiet since there were about 7 couples on the tour, and only one other family with another child). She kept on asking, and I said, "What do you mean?!?" She thought it would be a ride like when we went to Chocolate World in Hershey, PA and took a tour of the factory ;). LOL....you've got to love how kids think :) :).

Brianna asked me at Target the other day if I was going to love her more than Joshua. I told her that I love all my kids equally, and she seemed ok with that answer. They are super excited about their brother now, hoping that continues when they see he's here to stay :).

Tomorrow I'll be 34 weeks 5 days! That's how far along I was when I had my girls. They were perfect little people when they were born...crazy that I have a baby that size with perfect little features in my belly right now :).

Saw this on someone's blog...and now I'm going to fill it out :)

How far along? 34 weeks on Friday!! Woo hoo!! What's crazy is that on September 9th I'll be 34 weeks 5 days, and that's how far along I was when I delivered my girls! Sunday will be exactly one month until I meet Joshua!

Movement: Crazy all the time...lately making it difficult to sleep. I turn on my left side and he pushes like I'm disturbing him. I already think he has quite the personality ;).

Gender: He's a boy :)

Labor Signs: Well, on Saturday when Dr. said I was having contractions my lower back really hurt (I had back labor when I had my girls). This has happened a couple more times this week. Praying Joshua stays put until Oct. 6th!

Belly Button in or out? out for awhile now...it'll go back in eventually...did w/my girlies

What I miss: this week I've really craved soda while having terrible headaches

What I am looking forward to: the hospital tour on Sunday and showing the girls where they will meet their brother!

Weekly Wisdom: try to avoid the flu when pregnant....it sucks.

Milestones: September 10th will be the most pregnant I've ever been :).

Swine Flu

I have the flu :(. Joshua is doing well, thank goodness. I went to the OB today and had an NST done. His heart rate and movement was great. I was having contractions though, and didn't even realize it. I was spilling keytones into my urine which was causing my uterus to contract. Which means I apparantly am not eating or drinking enough. I have had more liquids than when I'm not sick, and I ate 3 meals and some snacks yesterday...so I don't know why it would show that :(. I have another OB appt. on Friday. I'm resting 24/7 and praying to feel better soon. I really really really miss my girls. They are at my parents house until I'm not contagious (tomorrow night). Brianna now has a fever :(. She's on the same dosage of medicine as me now. Mikayla is fine so far. Mikayla and Nelson are on the medicine too, because they have been exposed. The girls will miss their first day of school, and can hopefully start on Wednesday. Ok..going back to bed...

BIRTHDAY!!!

Had my Dr. appt. today. Joshua's scheduled c-section will be on October 6, 2009. It's so exciting to know when he will arrive. I also will be home in time for the girls' birthday. They are going to Disney World with my parents, but will be home that evening for cake and presents. I am so excited about meeting my son!!!! My little boy will also share a birthday with his cousin, Elizabeth. So fun!

My girls were delivered via c-section because they were breech. I recovered really easily, and I'm praying this time goes smoothly also. One of the homily's at church awhile back talked about how people say they are lucky...when really instead of saying lucky they should say blessed. It isn't luck that brings us good things. It's God's glory, and our faith and prayers and His love that brings us our special moments. Whenever I go to say I'm so lucky, or feel so lucky, I pause and thank God because it's not luck....I am so blessed.

We find out tomorrow!!!

My girls were a scheduled c-section because they were breech...but instead of arriving on October 26th as planned, they decided they wanted to be born on October 9th. Due to complications associated with VBAC's, and my fear of pushing my luck since I've been through the ringer since last August we've decided to schedule a c-section for Joshua.

Tomorrow, we have a Dr. appt. and we are scheduling his birthday!! I'm hoping my Dr. is available any day but the 9th!! We'll see. Tick tock tick tock tick tock....Thank goodness it's an early morning appt.

I feel like I have been pregnant FOREVER. A year ago we had just found out we were expecting...and since it was a partial molar pregnancy I got big fast (with molars the placenta is huge)...then, end of October we lost our baby...then, November and December I had weekly blood draws with my OB...then January we got pregnant. So, I've literally been going to my OB at least twice a month since last August. I have loved feeling Joshua grow and move, but I'm really over being pregnant. I'm REALLY trying to enjoy everything about this pregnancy since it is my last...but somedays (like today) I'm so ready to be done. In 2 1/2 weeks I'll be at the point in my pregnancy when I had my girls. Crazy that after that I have a whole month left!!! Praying for patience to meet my son :).

So excited to meet my baby boy

My friend, Anna, threw my baby shower last weekend. It was so nice. I really loved all of her special touches. The theme was nursery rhymes, and as a former Early Childhood educator children's books are my love :). The cake was delicious, the games/activities Anna planned were fun. I also loved how special my daughters felt throughout the shower :).

I had my first day of swelling on Saturday. My hands have been swelling for a couple weeks, but my ankles haven't. Saturday it felt like all of me was swelling. After drinking some water and putting my feet up I felt much better. I just feel like I have completely lost my energy lately. With two three year olds I really need energy, because sitting at home they get bored and into trouble and then I get upset...when they really just need structure and activities. So, I'm trying. I can't believe I have 8ish weeks left. I'm so ready. Well, there's still some stuff to do, but as far as wanting Joshua here I'm VERY ready :).

Mikayla had her hand on my stomach today and the baby kicked her hard, and she got so excited, and then I took a deep breath because he was in my ribs and he moved and she felt him move down and she squeled with delight. She said, "Mommy, Joshua is telling me hi and I love you big sister!!". It was so sweet :). When Nelson got home from work she ran up to him and told him about her special time with brother :). They are going to be the best sisters. I am truly so blessed.

My sweet baby boy cuddling his foot :)

Nightmares back....

I had a horrible nightmare last night. I have an ultrasound on Friday at an elective u/s place, so no doctors. Well, I had a dream that they started the u/s, and Joshua had the cord wrapped around his neck a couple times. The tech said that I needed to call my dr. immedietly and they might need to deliver him right away because of this.

I'm sure he's fine...he moves like crazy so that's relieving...it's just my nerves working overtime. It doesn't help that on the message board I read about successful pregnancies after a loss some of the women have lost their baby's to cord issues. It makes me relieved that I'm having a c-section.

I can't have dreams like this for the next 9-10 weeks though that's for sure. Hopefully, this is the last nightmare. I can't wait to see my little guy on Friday, and I pray he looks healthy. Interested to see if we can see hair because my heartburn has been intense this week :). We'll see if that old wives tale is correct about my son :).

Relaxed

The nurse said today that my blood pressure was better than it was at my last appt. I think my weekend away with the girls is the reason :). It was nice and relaxing. So exciting that our kids will be the same age and grade at school. I've been friends with them since I was a pre-teenager...it's so great to be going through this with them.

Me at 27 weeks, Alison at 24 weeks and Alison at 15 weeks

Glucose Screening

I had my glucose screening today. Should hear something by Monday...I'm nervous this time around. I don't remember being worried with the girls. Maybe because this little man only wants unhealthy things. Though, I read it's not really what you eat that determines gestational diabetes, but how your body breaks up the food you do eat. So, we'll see. I also don't remember having to drink the orange soda type drink in 5 minutes. I was nervous about getting it all down, and I ended up finishing it in 3 min. :).

When the Dr. came in he asked me if I had plans to travel and I told him about our family going to Tallahassee soon for my sister's graduation. He said to make the 4.5 hour drive more like a 7 hour drive and stop a lot. Oh geez. He said I'm measuring right on and everything seems great. I have an appt. in 2 weeks, and then the appt. after that in 4 weeks (Aug. 19) we are going to schedule Joshua's birthday!!! Hopefully my Dr. is scheduled to be at the hospital on a day other than the 9th!! We'll see. I can't wait to meet my little boy.

Daddy's voice

Last night it was sooooo exciting. Nelson and I were laying in bed talking, and everytime Nelson starting talking the baby moved. Everytime Nelson stopped talking the baby stopped moving. We both just kept our hands on top of my belly and it was so cool. Joshua loves his Daddy's voice. Hoping that doesn't mean he's a Daddy's boy ;). I'm really looking forward to a mama's boy. I still want him to be masculine, and play sports with Daddy...I just want him to be my cuddly sweet boy :).

Today, he's moving like crazy again...this is the best part of pregnancy :).

25 weeks

Had an appointment this morning, and everything is going great :). Joshua's heart rate was 153, and he was moving all around throughout the appointment...it's funny watching my stomach now move with him. I gained more weight in the last four weeks than I would have liked, but I'm measuring 24.5 cm which is right on track.

I told the Dr. my concerns about pre-eclampsia occurring again (I started having some swelling last week, and seeing spots)...He said my urine had no protein, and blood pressure's been good...so they will watch me closely, but right now I look good. Probably the swelling is because of the heat and needing more fluids.

I also asked about circumcision, and my OB does it...I said something along the lines of does the office have a good success rate with no issues. The Dr. said, well mothers usually are worried about how it will look. LOL, totally not what I meant. I said, no, I'm talking about blood loss and something going wrong. He said it's done the day they leave usually! He also said that usually everything is fine, and the way they do it they can see right then how it will be. So we'll see. This subject still freaks me out.

I also talked to the Dr. about when I could hold and nurse Joshua. With the girls I had pre-e, so I was on magnesium for the first 24 hours, and couldn't even be in the NICU let alone hold them. One of the saddest things I've ever endured. SO...it's VERY important to me that this time is different. The Dr. said after they put him in the warmer they will finish me up, and Nelson and Joshua will go to our room, and 30 minutes later I can hold him and feed him :) :). So, this is so exciting. Praying my little boy is born healthy, and able to room in immediately with me.

Next appointment is the glucose screening. Can't believe it's already time! I felt like right after I did this with the girls I had them! October will be here before I know it....

So different

It's so crazy to me how different my two pregnancies have been so far.

Yes, obviously with twins the pregnancy would be different from a singleton, but EVERYTHING is different.

With my girls: Couldn't eat ANY Italian food, especially pizza
With Joshua: I LOVE Italian! (even pizza!)

With my girls: I carried them higher, and had pains in my ribs all the time
With Joshua: I feel like even low paneled maternity pants hurt because I am carrying him SO low.

With my girls: You'd think with two babies that I would feel them move a lot, but I think because they didn't have much room being squished in together that there wasn't much room to feel them move around. I didn't feel them much at all throughout the pregnancy.
With Joshua: I feel him so much, and have since 15 weeks!

With my girls: I definitely bought more ;) Girls stuff is just too cute to resist!
With Joshua: Buying some small things here and there, trying to hold off until after my baby shower to see what's needed.

With my girls: I got sick twice a day for 14 weeks...ugh.
With Joshua: I have gotten sick twice so far....woo hoo!

I'm interested to see how different it will be raising a boy compared to my girly girls. I'm excited God has blessed us with having a son and two wonderful daughters :)

So sweet...

I asked Brianna yesterday what she thought her little brother would look like when he was born. She said, " A little masterpiece". Such a sweet girl :).

The invites have gone out for my last baby shower, EVER! Anna did a fabulous job on them!! She sent one to each of the girls too, who said they were for the big sisters...they are so excited!

Soccer player?

Baby is kicking like crazy these days. Nelson's now able to feel him regurally, and yesterday Mikayla happened to be right next to me when he was squirming away, and she got to feel her baby brother move :). Everything is going well. I'm big, which is a concern...I have about 17 weeks left and I can't imagine how much bigger I'll get! I am gaining weight appropriately, I just feel huge! Something that is not helping is that this baby boy only wants food that isn't good for me! I am having to make myself eat fruit/veggies/and healthy meals, because most times I just want crap :(. Lately peanut butter twix bars are calling my name ;).

My next appt. is July 2nd. Then, I start going more often. Craziness that this time next month I'll be in the 3rd trimester! I can't wait to meet Joshua!! Trying to get the playroom/guestroom organized so we can start on the nursery. It's become a bigger project than I first anticipated...but, it's getting there :).

So exciting!

We had an u/s on Thursday. Joshua Nelson is doing great! Everything was right on track, and as the u/s tech looked at everything, she kept commenting on how perfect everything looked. In the 3 ultrasounds we've had he always has his arm up and his hand by his face sleeping :), so I expect him to want to sleep like that when he's born. He's so cute, I can't wait to meet my son in October! Son---gosh, can't believe that.

Since we had confirmation that our babe is a boy we went and registered. It was so fun. The girls were all about it for the majority of Babies 'R Us, and then towards the end when they realized it wasn't all about them they were done. So, there are a few things I'll add online ;).

My friend, Anna, is putting my shower together. She felt bad that she couldn't be at the shower I had when I was pregnant with my girls, and wanted to be the one to host this shower. It's so sweet of her. It looks like August 1st will be the big day :). My last baby shower. I wasn't sure I'd want another baby shower, but knowing I'm having a boy I'm now really psyched about it. All baby's deserve the spot in the baby book filled out about their baby shower too ;). I'm signing the girls up for their big sister class soon...so exciting!

Movement

This baby is moving all the time now, and I LOVE it! Yesterday, at exactly 20 weeks Nelson felt him kick! It was really exciting :). I can't wait until next Thursday to see this baby again :). The girls are being such great big sisters. I did get out some of their old blankets (that were neutral colors ;) ), and Brianna got very jealous. It was interesting to see her get upset about that, because she hasn't really showed those feelings much. She has always been a Mommy's girl, and I'm a little nervous for how she'll do when the baby comes. Mikayla I think will be fine. She's so excited, and wakes up wanting to kiss my belly, and goes to bed wanting to kiss her baby brother :). We will see in a little over 4 months!

New date...

Went to the Dr. yesterday...I was worried about something, but it turned out to be nothing :). I was relieved to get peace of mind. I talked to my Dr. (I saw my favorite) about my 20 week u/s being with my least favorite dr. in the practice. So, he had me reschedule to see him :). So...instead of June 1st our 20 week ultrasound will be June 4th. I hate waiting a couple more days, but it's SO worth it to know that it'll be the Dr. I love going over everything, when I really trust he'll tell me every detail. My brother graduates high school the day before my ultrasound. Gosh when I was in high school he was so little...I was dressing him in Gymboree outfits, and giving him piggy back rides and now he's graduating high school!!!

Can't wait to see baby again!

Our 20 week u/s is scheduled for 6/1. I can't wait to see Joshua, and I hope he's still Joshua and that his boy parts weren't just the umbilical cord or something, lol. We've started to buy little things here or there. It's exciting to be buying baby things again. I do have to admit that the baby girl clothing is more fun, but I'm enjoying adding blues and greens to my house instead of just pinks and purples ;).

I am still in shock that we are having a boy. LOL, guess those tips for having a boy worked ;). I am also glad that there won't be much jealousy (I think) over the girls. I think if we had a girl that she may feel left out over the bond that the girls have.

Mikayla and Brianna are so excited. I feel like I need some space every now and then because they are always on my belly :). It's sweet how they are always talking to the baby and giving my tummy kisses and hugs. Mikayla calls him "her little one", and they both sing to my tummy...it's so sweet.

It's a BOY!

We went to an elective ultrasound place today, and got to see our baby...he was moving all around, and was so precious! After him sitting with his legs crossed I drank more water, and he started moving all around! We got to see that he is a boy! I was SO shocked. I would have bet everything we have on this baby being a girl. The heartbeat has been so high (even today in the 160's)...so much for that old wives tale :).

The girls are so excited, and we went to Target today and they picked out a little something for their baby brother. It was so sweet. Mikayla got the baby a lovey...an elephant with a blanky attached (I wasn't a big fan of it, but she was so excited ;) ) Brianna got the baby a yellow paci ;). I bought a onesie that says Mommy's hero when Daddy's not around...so cute! I can't believe I'm having a boy!!!!!!!

Oh my...

So, I had my first TWO stranger comments today. First one, I'm at Einstein Bagels getting lunch with my girls...I'm trying to pay, holding two milks and a water, and trying to get my girls to not dance around and knock people over. So, this lady behind me in line says, "Oh, twins?" Yes. "Wow, is this next one twins?" No. "Oh good you won't be like that John and Kate family" Then, she goes on to ask me how big the girls were at birth, and if I feel this baby as much as I felt the girls, blah. So strange.

Then, I'm at Kohls later on in the day, and again I'm paying and my girls are getting out of the cart talking a mile a minute...the cashier says, "Wow you have your hands full, and you went and got yourself pregnant?" This was actually pretty funny that she had the nerve to say this. I said, yep. She says, "How many months are you" Four. She said, "Boy or girl?" I said I don't know. She said...boy. Weird.

I'm just not one to go up to strangers and ask personal questions...ugh, I'm only 15 weeks (well, tomorrow), and I'm so big. I'm so paranoid about gaining more than 25 lbs. with this baby. I know I shouldn't worry about that...but, it's hard not to. As long as this baby is born healthy I will be happy. I got my doppler today!!!! I also felt baby move a good amount today. The past week I felt like I was feeling baby, but not sure, and today I am positive I did. I pressed down where I felt the baby, and then it stopped...by me pressing down the baby moved...so funny! Oh, I'm so in love with our baby.

Popped...a lot

So, before I was 12 weeks I was just bloated and clothes were tight...then we had our great ultrasound, and it was like my stomach felt like it could unleash itself! Here's my first belly picture taken at 14 weeks...oh my.

I guess this is what a pregnancy after twins is like! I'm starting to feel more comfortable telling people our news...it's so hard after a loss...especially one like ours where it felt like it took forever to go through it due to the weekly blood draws and all and the fear of cancer. I'm so blessed that the first month we were allowed to try to conceive that it happened....my October blessing.

So in love...

We had the 12 week ultrasound on 4/3. Baby measured 12 weeks 2 days, heartbeat was 160, everything looked perfect, and I'm in love. We told the girls when we got home, and they definitely had the best reaction yet. Mikayla is so excited and the baby's protector, whenever she's around me she rests her hand gently on my belly because she says she wants to be close to the baby. It's so sweet. Brianna's more curious about the whole thing. Everything I eat she makes sure the baby likes it. It's so exciting to finally feel like I can breathe!Here's our cutie!!! Such a perfect looking baby!

TOMORROW!

I'm so nervous...I prayed and prayed that God would take away my fear, and all week I have felt so sure everything is ok. Though, now that my ultrasound is tomorrow I'm so scared that I'm going to be blindsided since I'm so sure my baby is healthy. I have so many people praying, and I just hope that this baby is growing and healthy, and has all the right chromosomes and everything. I hope today goes by quickly, and that we have a perfect ultrasound tomorrow morning.......

10 weeks

I had an appt. on Friday, and the Dr. put the doppler on my stomach and immediately we heard the heartbeat...such a beautiful sound. It was 173 bpm. I'm thinking a girl, but my friend's son had a heartbeat at 174, so she said not to rule out blue....we'll see in May. After this Dr. appt. I have felt so much hope, and have been talking about this baby's future. I so pray that everything continues to go well. I feel like I'm in the 2ww all over again. My 12 week u/s is on April 3rd. Praying that goes perfectly.

I have been having a pinching pain in my back, dr. says normal, my mom thinks it's my sciatic nerve and she says it'll only get worse...as long as this babe is healthy I'm really going to try not to complain! I have also been getting really strong pains by my right ovary. The dr. said I ovulated from my right ovary (they could tell in my 6 wk. ultrasound). He said I probably have a cyst there and it'll go away as my placenta takes over...so I guess we'll see at my 12 week ultrasound. I haven't gained any weight, but I'm so bloated that nothing fits. I can't wait to have a bump, and be out of the chubby part of pregnancy :). I love this baby so much already...praying everything continues to go well!!!

8 weeks

Feeling more terrified as I get closer to my 12 week ultrasound. I've been having so many crazy dreams/nightmares. Praying around the clock for my baby. We go on the 20th, and the dr. said we should be able to hear heart tones on the doppler, I think that will help my nerves some.

My clothes are feeling super tight this week. I know it's just bloat, but it doesn't make keeping this a secret and easier. I have been having evening sickness...not actually getting sick, just feeling really nauseous. I am loving every symptom I get, and I just hope our baby is growing and healthy.

A family friend is praying a Novena for me for 9 consecutive weeks at church, that's really comforting to know. She said she's gotten 11 women to have healthy pregnancies, lol.

Someone at the girls' school said I was glowing, and asked me if I had news! So, my guess is a boy right now because of the old wive's tale about a boy giving his mother beauty during pregnancy and a girl taking it away ;)...so we'll see. Nelson and I did just think of a girls name we love, so who knows. I just want to get past the first week of April and feel safe in this pregnancy!!

Feb. 24th U/S update

Our little bean measured exactly 6 weeks 3 days, which is right on for when I ovulated (late to the Dr's date because I OV'd late).

Heartrate was 129...and we couldn't see much since it was so early...so anxious to see this baby in April!!!

February 23rd

My U/S is tomorrow. I'm so nervous, scared, excited, anxious...ugh. We had a perfect heartbeat last time and still lost our baby...so I don't think this will give me any relief tomorrow. The first week of April I'll be out of the 1st trimester...I think that's when I'll feel safe.

I had a horrible nightmare last night that we were getting our U/S done, and their was a cyst on the baby's head, just like we saw at 10 weeks last time with our angel baby. It was horrible. I will be earlier this time, and so I'm afraid even if there is something to spark concern the Dr. won't see it on the U/S because the baby is so tiny at 6-7 weeks. Based on the Dr.'s wheel I'm going to be 7 weeks 3 days tomorrow. Based on when I ovulated (I charted on fertilityfriend.com) I think I'll be 6 weeks 4 days. So as long as the baby is measuring between these dates all is good.

Hoping March goes by VERY quickly.

February 12th

Went back to the Dr. Had the routine first OB bloodwork drawn, and then had another beta check. I asked the dr. to do this. I was at 2189 at 20 dpo!!! My Dr. wants to see me on the 24th for an ultrasound!!! I'm so ecstatic!!!!!!!!

February 6th

Went back in to have beta's drawn. This was 14 dpo. My levels were 96!!!

February 4th

First Dr. appt. Had my beta levels drawn...I was a 28 on 12 dpo
http://www.betabase.info/ show's that that level is in the norm. The number doesn't really matter, it's whether or not it doubles...I also had my progesterone checked...it was at 30, which the Dr. said is really great! I feel like I could be an OB at this point...

February 3rd

We got a BFP!!! Praying around the clock this baby is healthy!!